Top Tips for Recognising When a Person with Dementia Is Finding Something Difficult

Why This Matters

People living with dementia are not always able to explain when they are finding something difficult. They may not recognise the challenge themselves, may be unable to find the words, or may worry about losing independence if they ask for help. As a result, difficulties can sometimes be mistaken for confusion, distress, non-compliance or a loss of ability.

Recognising when someone is struggling allows us to provide the right support at the right time. It can reduce frustration, maintain confidence and help people remain as independent as possible.

Introduction

Dementia affects people in different ways and at different rates. A task that feels manageable one day may feel difficult the next. Difficulties are often subtle before they become obvious.

The key is to stay curious. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong?” it can be more helpful to ask, “What might this person be finding difficult right now?” Small changes in behaviour, mood, communication or routine can provide valuable clues.

Real-Life Example

A woman living with dementia began arriving late for a weekly activity she had always enjoyed. Staff initially assumed she had lost interest. When they explored further, they discovered she was struggling to follow changes made to the route following roadworks. Once someone walked the route with her and provided simple visual reminders, she resumed attending regularly.

The issue was not a lack of motivation. The challenge was identifying what had become difficult and finding the right support.

Mike’s Reflection

One of the most important lessons I have learned is that behaviour often makes sense when we understand the challenge behind it. A person may refuse help, avoid an activity or become frustrated not because they are unwilling, but because something has become harder than before.

When we slow down and become curious, we move from judging behaviour to understanding experience. That shift often leads to better support and better outcomes for everyone involved.

This Week’s Top Tips

Notice changes, not just problems

• Pay attention to changes in routines, confidence, participation or mood.
• Look for tasks the person previously managed comfortably but now avoids.
• Notice whether difficulties occur at particular times, places or situations.

Look for clues in behaviour

• Frustration, withdrawal, hesitation or repeated mistakes may indicate a hidden difficulty.
• Notice whether the person appears anxious before specific tasks.
• Consider what the behaviour might be communicating rather than focusing only on the behaviour itself.

Work with the person to find solutions

• Ask what would help rather than immediately taking over.
• Break tasks into smaller steps where appropriate.
• Adapt the environment, communication or level of support before deciding that the task is no longer possible.

A Gentle Reminder

Finding something difficult does not mean someone has lost the ability completely. Many challenges can be reduced through patience, understanding, practical adjustments and the right support.

November Dementia Care Challenge

Choose one person you support and observe an everyday activity they find frustrating or avoid whenever possible. Ask yourself:

• “What might this person be finding difficult and what small change could help?”

Try one person-centred adjustment and note the difference it makes.

Over to You

What signs help you recognise when someone may be finding an activity, conversation or environment more difficult than they can easily express?

Remember: Small Moments can make a Big Difference.