Top Tips for Recognising Loss in Dementia Care
There is no grief like the grief that that does not speak.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Why This Matters
Loss in dementia is not limited to bereavement. People may experience changes in their abilities, roles, routines, relationships and sense of independence.
Introduction
Relatives and staff can experience loss too. Recognising these feelings can help us respond with greater understanding and compassion.
Real-Life Example
A gentleman repeatedly asked to go home. Staff initially tried to remind him that he now lived in the care home. When they explored what home meant to him, they discovered he was seeking the comfort, familiarity and belonging he associated with his former life.
Mike’s Reflection
Behaviour can sometimes communicate a loss that a person cannot easily explain. Curiosity helps us look beyond the words or actions to the feelings underneath.
This Week’s Top Tips
Notice What has Changed
- Consider changing relationships and roles
- Notice changes to familiar routines
- Recognise reduced independence and choice
Listen for the Feeling
- Acknowledge feelings rather than correcting
- Offer reassurance
- Explore what the person may need
Support the People Around Them
- Let relatives express conflicting feelings
- Give staff space to reflect
- Encourage honest conversations without judgement
A Gentle Reminder
Grief does not follow a timetable, and people do not all respond in the same way.
September Challenge
When behaviour concerns you, pause and ask: “Could loss or change be part of what this person is communicating?”
Over to You
How might recognising loss change the way you respond?
Remember: Small Moments can make a Big Difference.
Over to You:
Release Your Potential
- Do any of these things ring true for you and can you picture yourself putting these tips into action?
- What would it look, sound and feel like if you put some of these tips into action – for you and others?
- What barriers might you come against when putting these tips/ideas into action? How might you overcome them?
- Who could give you support and how?
- Have you tried these tips and ideas out and, if so, what have you learned?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, reflections, gut reactions, perceptions, experiences and wisdom.
Remember that sharing our experiences can help others, so your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
