Top Tips for Becoming a Dementia Behaviour Detective: The 4 Ws before the Why
Behaviour is the visible tip of the iceberg — feelings lie beneath.
April is Stress Awareness Month every Top Tips Tuesday we are focusing on stress and people with dementia.
On my course “Dementia: Behaviour – A Challenge or a Gift?” I invite learners to take a different perspective. Instead of seeing behaviour as a challenge, perhaps we can change our mindset and see it as a gift – the person is sharing something about how they are feeling deep inside.
20 Top Tips for developing your dementia‑detective mindset:
- Start with the WHAT – name the specific behaviour you notice.
- Explore the WHEN – time of day, week, season or routine.
- Identify the WHERE – specific locations can hold meaning.
- Note the WHO – who was present? Who was absent?
- Ask what happened just before? (the “ABC” approach: Antecedent).
- Ask what happened afterwards? (Consequence).
- Avoid assumptions — remember: ASSUME = ASS out of U and ME.
- Observe more, judge less.
- Keep a gentle curiosity: “What might this behaviour be trying to protect?”
- Think about emotional memory — feelings last longer than facts.
- Consider past experiences you may not know about.
- Think about meaning: is the person trying to regain control, independence or safety?
- Look for patterns over days, not just moments.
- Use the behaviour itself as information, not misbehaviour.
- Talk with colleagues or family — they may hold missing pieces of the puzzle.
- Consider the person’s life story — school, work, parenting, responsibilities.
- Notice if behaviour increases during transitions (e.g., shift changes).
- Ask “What is the unmet need here?”
- Remember: you might never fully know the Why — and that’s okay.
- The goal is understanding enough to respond with compassion.
Next time, we’ll focus on Top Tips for identifying the potential causes of stress in people with dementia.
The above Top Tips are taken from my course Dementia: Behaviour – A Challenge of a Gift and its accompanying E-book.
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Over to You:
Release Your Potential
- Do any of these things ring true for you and can you picture yourself putting these tips into action?
- What would it look, sound and feel like if you put some of these tips into action – for you and others?
- What barriers might you come against when putting these tips/ideas into action? How might you overcome them?
- Who could give you support and how?
- Have you tried these tips and ideas out and, if so, what have you learned?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, reflections, gut reactions, perceptions, experiences and wisdom.
Remember that sharing our experiences can help others, so your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
