When Learning Stays With Us

Connection, Emotion and the Memories That Still Matter

Mike’s Monthly Thoughts and Reflections

Last month, in Pause for Thought, I wrote about how Home is More Than a Place and attachment, relationships and the need to feel safe.

This month, I find myself thinking about learning, memory and the people whose influence stays with us long after the moment has passed.

I was reminded of this recently when I met up with Kevin Matherick, who taught me at West Glamorgan Youth Theatre when I was a teenager.

Kevin was in London to see some theatre, so we took the chance to spend time together in the garden, sharing food, memories and conversation.

I first met Kevin when I joined WGYT for a production of Peter Pan.

I was one of the Lost Boys (together with a certain Michael Sheen!), and the experience opened up a world of creativity, confidence and possibility. It was not only about acting. It was about learning to listen, to notice, to respond, to take risks, and to understand something of other people’s feelings.

That is what good teachers often do. They do more than pass on information. They help us discover something about ourselves. Sometimes they influence us in ways they may never fully realise.

Seeing Kevin again reminded me that learning is not just stored in the mind as facts. It is held in the body, in feelings, in relationships, in stories and in the moments that helped us feel alive, capable or seen.

Music, Memory and Feeling Seen

I often think about this when working with people living with dementia.

A person may not always remember a date, a name or the sequence of a particular event, yet a familiar song can still bring a visible change. A foot may begin to tap. A face may soften. A voice may join in with words that seemed to have disappeared.

I remember moments in dementia care training when a piece of music, a familiar sound or a small sensory prompt has helped people glimpse the person behind the diagnosis. It is rarely the activity itself that matters most. It is the connection it creates.

Music can carry identity, relationships and emotion.

It can remind someone of dancing, worship, work, family celebrations, childhood, courtship or belonging.

Even when factual memory is affected, emotional memory can still be powerful. That is why the arts, life story work and sensory approaches matter so much in dementia care.

Training That Connects With Feelings

The same principle applies in the training room. People rarely remember everything from a course, and it would be unfair to expect them to. What tends to stay is the idea that landed at the right time, the image that made something clear, the story that touched them, or the activity that helped them connect learning with real life.

I sometimes imagine my role as creating a range of hangers on a rail upon which lay out options to remember throughout the day – the learners will take the coat hangers that are meaningful to them.

My role is to hang up meaningful pieces throughout the day. Different learners will notice different things. They will take down what feels useful, relevant or emotionally true for them.

That is why I have always tried to make training more than information delivery. Film, discussion, skills practice, stories, objects, music and reflection can all help people connect knowledge with feeling.

In dementia care, we often talk about feelings-led support. Perhaps we also need to talk more about feelings-led learning.

Why this matters now

Training is only part of the story. The real question is what happens afterwards.

Does the learning influence conversations, care plans, team discussions and everyday practice? Does it help someone pause before labelling behaviour as difficult? Does it encourage a care worker to ask, “What might this person be trying to communicate?”

This is why I have been developing simple Learning Tools, including questions managers can ask after training. It is also why Coaching+ exists: to help learners and managers think about how learning becomes practice, and how practice improves the lives of the people they support.

Knowledge matters, but knowledge on its own is not enough. Learning that sticks is learning that connects with people, emotions and real situations.

Final reflections

Meeting Kevin again reminded me that the best learning experiences leave traces. They shape our confidence, our values and our sense of what is possible.

In dementia care, the same is true of human connection. A familiar song, a warm greeting, a remembered preference or a moment of genuine attention can all say, “I see you. You still matter.”

Perhaps the learning that stays with us is not always the information we were given, but the way someone helped us feel. And perhaps one of the greatest responsibilities in both training and care is to create moments that are meaningful enough to last.here remains the possibility of comfort, belonging and hope.

Over to you to Release Your Potential

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